the wicker man
20-03-2007, 10:06 PM
Dear Employee:
It has been brought to the attention of management that some individuals in the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated and may lead to disciplinary action if it persists.
We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues and so a list of 13 new and innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that a proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
1-
Try Saying - I think you would benefit from some additional training.
Instead of - You don't have a f***ing clue, do you?
2-
Try Saying - She's an aggressive go-getter.
Instead of - She's a f***ing power-crazy b*tch.
3-
Try Saying - Perhaps I can work late.
Instead of - And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?
4-
Try Saying - I'm certain that isn't feasible.
Instead of - F*** off a*se-wipe.
5-
Try Saying - Really?
Instead of - Well f*** me backwards with a telegraph pole.
6-
Try Saying - Perhaps you should check with . . .
Instead of - Tell someone who gives a f***.
7-
Try Saying - I wasn't involved in the project.
Instead of - Not my f***ing problem, mate.
8-
Try Saying - That's interesting.
Instead of - What the f***?
9-
Try Saying - I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale.
Instead of - No f***ing chance, mate.
10-
Try Saying - It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in.
Instead of - Why the f*** didn't you tell me that yesterday?
11-
Try Saying - He's not familiar with the issues.
Instead of - He's got his head up his f***ing a*se.
12-
Try Saying - Excuse me, sir?
Instead of - Oi, f*** face.
13-
Try Saying - Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway.
Instead of - Yeah, who needs f***ing holidays anyway.
I'm sure we can rely on your compliance.
The Management.
It has been brought to the attention of management that some individuals in the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated and may lead to disciplinary action if it persists.
We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues and so a list of 13 new and innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that a proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
1-
Try Saying - I think you would benefit from some additional training.
Instead of - You don't have a f***ing clue, do you?
2-
Try Saying - She's an aggressive go-getter.
Instead of - She's a f***ing power-crazy b*tch.
3-
Try Saying - Perhaps I can work late.
Instead of - And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?
4-
Try Saying - I'm certain that isn't feasible.
Instead of - F*** off a*se-wipe.
5-
Try Saying - Really?
Instead of - Well f*** me backwards with a telegraph pole.
6-
Try Saying - Perhaps you should check with . . .
Instead of - Tell someone who gives a f***.
7-
Try Saying - I wasn't involved in the project.
Instead of - Not my f***ing problem, mate.
8-
Try Saying - That's interesting.
Instead of - What the f***?
9-
Try Saying - I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale.
Instead of - No f***ing chance, mate.
10-
Try Saying - It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in.
Instead of - Why the f*** didn't you tell me that yesterday?
11-
Try Saying - He's not familiar with the issues.
Instead of - He's got his head up his f***ing a*se.
12-
Try Saying - Excuse me, sir?
Instead of - Oi, f*** face.
13-
Try Saying - Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway.
Instead of - Yeah, who needs f***ing holidays anyway.
I'm sure we can rely on your compliance.
The Management.